Last of Us (9 out of 10)

Best game I've played in years.

The skinny: it's about 20 years since zombie doomsday and things aint so bad. There are governments and police and people eat ok. But the governments are gestapo-esque and everyone is jews, and while there is food everyone is food as well. You are on a mission that requires you walk all over the god damn place (seriously across several states and over years) to meet the radical Firefly group.

This game is beautiful.

If you are like me and hate missions in games where you can't let some weaker being die or else the mission is over and you have to restart, don't worry, that girl is full of kickass and you never have to worry about her.

My favorite parts were walking around and listening to her talk or occasionally she would spout something like "doopsy dop doo doo" from her noise hole.

The story and voice acting are the reason to play the game through in one or two nights. The game play is a 5 (if I had to find another palette to drag her ass across 10 feet of water..). Fight scenes are meh and the controls just aren't very intuitive. There was one point where I put the game from 'normal' to 'easy' and from not autolocking targets to autolocking them. I wasn't in it for the shooting I was in it to see where the hell this was going.

You can upgrade your weapons and your abilities but since this game play isn't that great I wouldn't worry too much about it. I upgraded them because that's how I do with games. My constant fear that keeps me up all through sleepless nights is that I missed some plant that would give me 5 extra points. It haunts me.

As a side note how do you all go through RPG's or adventure games' dungeons? I always go right and go to the room on the right and follow that procedure to make sure I don't miss a single thing.

I was a little harsh earlier, the gameplay is a 6.5. Just why couldn't she get on my back and I swim her the 10 feet across, huh? Women.

The measure of a good game or movie is how long you think about certain parts of it after you are finished. I never think about Cooking Mama (anymore) but I constantly find myself recalling scenes of this game and wondering how I would have reacted if things went a little bit differently. And when the expansion comes out (I want to say Feb. 5?) I'm going to get it.

Call of Duty is porn. Last of Us is substance. Never forget that kids.

Weight Watchers (9 out of a fat 10)

From the source (the old handbag) "First diet I've been on that I don't feel deprived."

"I don't get the science behind it."

"I eat cake all day."

Dallas Buyers Club Pt. 1 (6.5 out of 10)

Not a full review just a theory

You add Jennifer Garner to a movie you subtract 3 points.

Matt Mchonahoo (what the fuck ever his name is) = good job.

Dan Reeder - Work Song (fucking 10 out of 10)

Great fucking song.

Gravity (8.5 out of 10)

Sandra Bullocking = 8.
George Clooneying = George Clooney.

I was quite skeptical of this particular movie. Don't get me wrong I love space movies. If they took Ashton whatever and Jennifer whosits and made a stupid love movie like they did, I would say bleh. But if at the end they zoomed out and it all took place on Mars I would say, "ooooh, look what they did there. Oscar."

It kept me entertained the entire time, it made me sadface, it made me laughface, and it made me anxiousface.

It really made you realize the power of the human spirit to blah blah blah.

I was kind of hoping that the bad guy (i.e. inanimate debris) would win out in the end.

Also Calvin and Hobbes is a 10.5 out of 10 all day.

This picture (9 out of 10)

That macac (I'm pretty sure that's what it is) is in it to win it all.

Bonus Picture:

This one hits home.

Owning a Fucking Beagle/Labrador (6 out of 10)

This is what they look like. Mine is all brown with a little white stripe going up his nose. (If you see him let him know that he has a family at home that loves him and doesn't blame him for the divorce.)

I've heard from multiple sources and can confirm myself that all they do is chew shit all day and night. Plus, these things have a nose like a great white shark and can smell food before you even bring it home from the store. Or think about making a grocery list.

This one pisses in the bedroom like he owns the place and has eaten more pairs of knock off shoes than a great white shark ever would.

They also have tails like a slavedriver's whip (I reference slave drivers on those old viking ships that had all white prisoners) and knock over children and trashcans like it's their job.

They are also crafty devils that know how to slip leashes and know that if they hide in the back corner under the bed where I can't reach him long enough my fury will eventually subside. (The Eagles don't make new albums every day!)

However, they are very loving and cuddly and are good with kids. In our house the rule is if he bites you, you bite him back. He plays rough with me and leaves marks but is careful with the kids. Though if they are rough housing he wants to play too and comes in like Wolverine when some asshat bear gets killed.

He is learning and he eats everything so there isn't ever a worry about saving food for the kids in Africa.

His name is Romo. After Tony Romo. Because, Go Cowboys.

Also, he has an unnatural affinity for pig's hooves which are like $1.18 a piece and last quite awhile.