Titanfall Beta (8 out of 10)

There is your Titan, reaching out to grab you and put you in your seat.

I've been playing it for about an hour now and although it is hectic I can see the possibilities.

The Beta starts you out with some training missions. You learn your pilot is able to double jump and run along walls and comes equipped with a fancy lock-on pistol. Then you do a couple of sample missions and bam you on your way to some multiplayer.

I've just played Attrition so far, which is Team Deathmatch. Your team consists of 6 or so players and grunts. Grunts are AI that are just there for racking up points it seems. I don't like the grunts and would rather just kills regular people. My feeling is that the maps were too big for just 6 players and too small for 12 Titans. To make it a little more just right they added grunts so a pilot wouldn't go so long without killing something.

You drop from a ship where a handy robot opens the door for you. Then you scramble around some rubble until you see either an enemy grunt of enemy pilot. Since it is just Beta there aren't many guns to choose from. An assault rifle, pistol, or shotgun. They all handle well but the most effective is the assault rifle, for the pilot and also the Titan. After 3 minutes or so (each time you kill a pilot 30 seconds gets chopped off) you can call your Titan from the sky: which is called Titanfall. That's the name of the game!!

Titans have big guns and are able to quickly dash backward, forward, side to side to dodge projectiles and such. They can't jump though which is a little frustrating. They also come with shields that last for about 4 seconds and allow you to collect whatever is shot at you and blow it back at your foes, this bit is particularly satisfying.

You have the option of getting in your Titan or letting it go on its own with simple orders from you (follow, or protect the area it is at). Couple this with the Pilot's ability to run along walls and quickly traverse the field of battle I believe this game will develop infinite possibilities and strategies.

Instead of just reaching the end score and the game ending the losing pilots have a short amount of time after the announcer declares defeat to reach a drop ship and exit before they are killed. This allows both the victors and losers a chance at some extra xp. Once the drop ship is on its way you only get one life and if you die you get to watch, like in Gears. It is a nice little touch and gives the developers another instance to distance themselves from the competition.

I see some opportunities for improvement but overall the game looks excellent and I'm going to go play it now.

Xbox One (8.5 out of 10 with lots of potential)

The game selection is pretty weak. I rented Need for Speed: Rivals, Assassin's Creed 4, and Call of Duty. Later I bought Dead Rising 3 which seems to be the best of the bunch.

The graphics are quite amazing and most of the time very polished. The best looking game I've read is Tomb Raider. If I had known I would have waited and played it for XO instead of the 360, but life is what it is I guess.

The voice recognition and Kinect features I was weary of because meh. Besides having trouble with the commands "turn on" and "turn off" it works well beyond my expectations. It responds to my demands very quickly and with little lag time and I would say 90% on the first time. It may seem like an extra feature that is nice but unnecessary and I would disagree with you there. Instead of turning on the controller and scrolling through menus I can just tell my xbox what to do and am at my destination faster and without having to move my digits.

The controller is basically the same except for the toggle sticks feel more in your control and the whole thing just seems well put together and streamlined for efficiency.

I know either this year or next that Fallout 4 is going to come out and so buying an XO was inevitable. Also today, Titanfall Beta came out and I've only played for about an hour but it is definitely worth buying the system for so far. Some jerkwad on Live called it "definitely a Call of Duty killer". Well, no, CoD will be around making another eerily similar game a year from now and on and on for the holiday season and people will buy it just like Madden. I am bored with CoD now and there is a void that I'm happy to let Titanfall fill.

I was never a fan of the Playstation's controller or its layout which is why I chose the Xbox One.

Anyway it is 500 clams right now which is pricey. It does come with Kinect, a respectable headset, and hdmi cord. 5 years ago that would be about a 225 dollar value. Today not so much but it is nice. I think throwing a copy of Dead Rising 3 or Need for Speed would have been swell of them.

The actual hardware seems much more long lasting than the flimsy xbox 360 and I haven't been hearing any red ring of death horror stories. So, here's to hoping. Anyway, back to Titanfall. I am Righteousice just so you know who did the killing.

Tomb Raider (8 out of 10)

Shipwrecked on a mysterious island with an attention hungry archaeologist, a hefty Hawaiian, an old handsome, salt and pepper father figure, a gruff, Irish captain, and a black bitch, we've all been there right?

In case you haven't then this game is for you.

2013 was really the year for bad bitches amirite or amirite? Beyond: Two Souls, (which I had to play on the DL because I've got a crush on Ellen Page and the gf doesn't appreciate it.) Last of Us, Bioshock Infiinite, and a revamped Tomb Raider.

The story and the atmosphere draw you in almost instantly as you recover from a devastating shipwreck in the Devil's Triangle along the coast of Japan. You were in search of a lost civilization centered around the Sun Queen, a powerful ruler back so many bla bla years ago.

Turns out this Devil's Triangle is the Bermuda Triangle of the east and this little island is the center of it all. Planes and boats from centuries ago until now litter its shores. Some mad men ruled over by a priest by the name of Mathias run the island and are just terrible bloodthirsty monsters.

There's all that. The graphics are top notch on the 360 and I think top it out I do believe, something like Halo 2 did for the Xbox. The story is intriguing and for Pokemon players who have to collect them all there is plenty of shit everywhere to grab up.

Lara finds relics along the way which are nice way to inject some history lessons into a game about a young girl who murders hundreds of people. Journals and other trinkets add a little back story to the whole kaboozle.

You have your basic weapons: bow, pistol, rifle, shotgun. Along the way you collect salvage from convenient wooden boxes and dead bodies which you use at campfires to upgrade your equipment.

The first 1/4 of the game is awesome and terrifying at the same time. From there is starts to wane until you reach a tepid, predictable end. I was hoping for some scientific answer to all the happenings on the island but I came away disappointed.

It keeps with the original Tomb Raider from way back on the ps1 quite well. Puzzles and shooting and action and plenty of adventure. I would have preferred they just do away with the whole salvage thing and make the game more realistic. Upgrading weapons and gear didn't seem to do much and wasn't very satisfying. Eventually I stopped looking in every nook and cranny because I wanted to just get on the with the story (plus I have gamefly and I'm trying to get my money's worth.)

The puzzles weren't much. Once you figure out the dynamic of the puzzle and get past the first obstacle it's over.

The voice acting and the music were lacking but the atmosphere and graphics more than make up for all that. Plus, the gameplay is quite enjoyable with plenty to do and explore while not letting you off the beaten track too much.

I was pleasantly surprised at this reboot of a franchise that I thought has lost its allure. There is definitely going to be sequel and plus some I imagine.

Loadout (7 out of 10)

Good little Team Fortress ripoff. The possibilities for gun design and modification seem to go quite deep.

It's free and fun.  I'll probably throw 10 bones there way and get some customization stuff. But the real currency of the game is Blutes which you use to upgrade your weapons and such.

The problem was finding a game and staying with that game. If you only have 7 players then it will kick you off and supposedly put you in queue for another game but it never quite works out that way. So, then you have to leave matchmaking but the game thinks you're in the middle of the game and so on.

But, the good people at Edge of Reality are still working on it and I'm sure will get all the kinks figured out.

The Banner Saga (7 out of 10)

Three guys left Bioware to found Stoic Games and made this little gem after raising 700k on Kickstarter.

Think Oregon Trail meets Final Fantasy Tactics (as a side note I meticulously tracked Final Fantasy Tactics story to try to piece the story together and finally came up bored).

The artwork is stellar. The brights colors against the drab, snow ridden background comes across as quite beautiful. The sounds and old viking war songs will stir up something deep inside your anglo-saxon heart.

You drag a caravan across a wartorn land doing your best not to run into the dredge. The dredge are heavily armored robots that also have wives and babies somehow (never got explained). Man teams up with Varl in this world where all the old gods are dead and there is little hope. Varl are these giant man beasts with huge horns protruding from there scalps that live for hundreds of years.  Since the gods made the varl and all the gods are dead then soon all the varl will die out and so on and such.

You gain renown for killing enemies and your various choices as caravan manager. With renown you can either level up characters or buy supplies. I made the mistake a couple of times of leveling up and then running out of supplies. When that happens people start dying.

There are a couple of plot twists along the way that keep it interesting but ultimately the battles and the caravan ride became monotonous and doesn't quite prepare you for the final battle.

It isn't a long game, you could probably leisurely beat it in a couple of nights. I imagine there will be an add-on or a sequel considering the story and when the credits started rolling.

Well worth the play and you know, buy the thing and whatnot.

Day Z (7 out of 10 and lots of potential)

Life 1: Graphics and everything were out of whack and I could barely move before 2 zombies attacked me. It was all over in

Life 2: Still fighting with the graphics. I chose a night server because of ignorance and appeared to have spawned next to some barn. I spent about 10 minutes trying to get into the barn before moving on. I found a small village and groped around literally not being able to see anything. I turned shadows off and then I had night vision. Eventually a zombie attacked me and I bled out. (I found out later you can tear a shirt apart and stop the bleeding, around life 5).

Life 3: I became a small Asian woman and after finding a nice orange rain coat was immediately killed by 2 fully equipped gentlemen in full army gear. They left me unconscious choking on blood on the side of the road.

Life 4: I am a black man who apparently frequented the gym a good bit before the apocalypse. I find an axe, designer sunglasses (badly damaged) and a green beanie. I was starting to get the hang of it when a zombie got me. I had thrown away my shirt before I found out it could safe my life. I bled out in the city searching for a dirty rag.

Life 5: My connection just timed out as 3 zombies pummeled me, so this one is probably over as well. I immediately found a well to drink from (your character spawns with an enormous thirst) and a violet backpack. You'll quickly find that space to put things is the number 2 priority. First is not dying. A backpack gets you 25 spaces, whereas pants and shirts can give you 2-6. But, a fire extinguisher will take up more room than a pen. I was doing quite well (I did get glitched into a room that didn't exist and which I couldn't escape from but I found out that if I run at the wall and vault I'll storm through it). I had found plenty of food and pop to hold me over and also a shotgun (no ammo) and axe. By this point I looked up the bleeding to death and found out about the shirt rags. (The forums quickly answered all the questions I had). Apparently the loss of blood with begin to turn your world grey. I ate some beans and spaghetti and drink a pop but my world didn't improve.

Once I fixed the graphics to fit my computer's apparently anemic means the game ran quite smoothly. If you're having trouble running it, change it from first to 3rd person. That made the game look and run much cleaner. It looks good as long as you don't experience massive blood loss.

I recommend getting your guy geared up and fed on a PVE server and then hopping over to another server. From the sounds of it if you don't gang up pretty quick you'll be dead or starving quite soon.

You don't level up, there are no missions, you receive nothing from killing zombies, and all there is to do is get better gear and survive.

This game is The Road it isn't Fallout. You have your destination (wherever your mind takes you) where you hear things are nicer and the people are sweeter and canned sardines (damaged) fall from the sky like manna and once you get there it is grey and dead like the place you started.

It is $30 on steam and was made by Bohemian Interactive. From the voice of the characters and the signs on the road they must be a bunch of Ruskies. At first I thought I was duped because my graphics were all wrong and it looked terrible. Once you get it figured out though you'll spend plenty of hours going through houses.

The game is in alpha stage I believe and there is still quite a bit to do. My wishlist would be: 1. Be able to open cabinets and all the doors; 2. A wider variety of items 3. A wider variety of environments 4. And other listy stuff.

First thing you should do is get an axe or shovel and go hit a wall. Sounds like ricocheting bullets. Also I get an error message every hour or so telling me the military beret is unavailable. Take the good with the bad.

I'm a zombie apocalypse survival junky and this game is what I've always wanted. It hasn't reached its full potential yet and I can't wait until it's all polished up and ready to serve.

Her (7 out of a 10)

A sweet little ride through a non-apocalyptic future. I prefer pillaging and scrounging in the future and the thought that all the fish and bees will be long gone and humanity will be on its last peg leg waiting to die. But this is ok too.

Classic man meets sexy operating system AI Sleepless in Seattle with some strange sexytime thrown in for the tweens.

It follows a predictable love story pattern. What stands out most is the setting. It was shot in Japan to look like a futuristic American city; presumably clean, bumless, and full of whites. It is a world where most people are casually cool with humans dating robots even though Futurama taught us all what that could lead to:



Throw in a dash of a quirky job of 'writing' handwritten love letters for other people and a little of this guy:

and you got yourself an Oscar nominated film right there.

The Oscars are a little thin this year. Blue Jasmine was quite bleh. Honestly Gravity has pulled at the ole heartstrings and brainbone more than any other film.

Last of Us (9 out of 10)

Best game I've played in years.

The skinny: it's about 20 years since zombie doomsday and things aint so bad. There are governments and police and people eat ok. But the governments are gestapo-esque and everyone is jews, and while there is food everyone is food as well. You are on a mission that requires you walk all over the god damn place (seriously across several states and over years) to meet the radical Firefly group.

This game is beautiful.

If you are like me and hate missions in games where you can't let some weaker being die or else the mission is over and you have to restart, don't worry, that girl is full of kickass and you never have to worry about her.

My favorite parts were walking around and listening to her talk or occasionally she would spout something like "doopsy dop doo doo" from her noise hole.

The story and voice acting are the reason to play the game through in one or two nights. The game play is a 5 (if I had to find another palette to drag her ass across 10 feet of water..). Fight scenes are meh and the controls just aren't very intuitive. There was one point where I put the game from 'normal' to 'easy' and from not autolocking targets to autolocking them. I wasn't in it for the shooting I was in it to see where the hell this was going.

You can upgrade your weapons and your abilities but since this game play isn't that great I wouldn't worry too much about it. I upgraded them because that's how I do with games. My constant fear that keeps me up all through sleepless nights is that I missed some plant that would give me 5 extra points. It haunts me.

As a side note how do you all go through RPG's or adventure games' dungeons? I always go right and go to the room on the right and follow that procedure to make sure I don't miss a single thing.

I was a little harsh earlier, the gameplay is a 6.5. Just why couldn't she get on my back and I swim her the 10 feet across, huh? Women.

The measure of a good game or movie is how long you think about certain parts of it after you are finished. I never think about Cooking Mama (anymore) but I constantly find myself recalling scenes of this game and wondering how I would have reacted if things went a little bit differently. And when the expansion comes out (I want to say Feb. 5?) I'm going to get it.

Call of Duty is porn. Last of Us is substance. Never forget that kids.

Weight Watchers (9 out of a fat 10)

From the source (the old handbag) "First diet I've been on that I don't feel deprived."

"I don't get the science behind it."

"I eat cake all day."

Dallas Buyers Club Pt. 1 (6.5 out of 10)

Not a full review just a theory

You add Jennifer Garner to a movie you subtract 3 points.

Matt Mchonahoo (what the fuck ever his name is) = good job.

Dan Reeder - Work Song (fucking 10 out of 10)

Great fucking song.

Gravity (8.5 out of 10)

Sandra Bullocking = 8.
George Clooneying = George Clooney.

I was quite skeptical of this particular movie. Don't get me wrong I love space movies. If they took Ashton whatever and Jennifer whosits and made a stupid love movie like they did, I would say bleh. But if at the end they zoomed out and it all took place on Mars I would say, "ooooh, look what they did there. Oscar."

It kept me entertained the entire time, it made me sadface, it made me laughface, and it made me anxiousface.

It really made you realize the power of the human spirit to blah blah blah.

I was kind of hoping that the bad guy (i.e. inanimate debris) would win out in the end.

Also Calvin and Hobbes is a 10.5 out of 10 all day.

This picture (9 out of 10)

That macac (I'm pretty sure that's what it is) is in it to win it all.

Bonus Picture:

This one hits home.

Owning a Fucking Beagle/Labrador (6 out of 10)

This is what they look like. Mine is all brown with a little white stripe going up his nose. (If you see him let him know that he has a family at home that loves him and doesn't blame him for the divorce.)

I've heard from multiple sources and can confirm myself that all they do is chew shit all day and night. Plus, these things have a nose like a great white shark and can smell food before you even bring it home from the store. Or think about making a grocery list.

This one pisses in the bedroom like he owns the place and has eaten more pairs of knock off shoes than a great white shark ever would.

They also have tails like a slavedriver's whip (I reference slave drivers on those old viking ships that had all white prisoners) and knock over children and trashcans like it's their job.

They are also crafty devils that know how to slip leashes and know that if they hide in the back corner under the bed where I can't reach him long enough my fury will eventually subside. (The Eagles don't make new albums every day!)

However, they are very loving and cuddly and are good with kids. In our house the rule is if he bites you, you bite him back. He plays rough with me and leaves marks but is careful with the kids. Though if they are rough housing he wants to play too and comes in like Wolverine when some asshat bear gets killed.

He is learning and he eats everything so there isn't ever a worry about saving food for the kids in Africa.

His name is Romo. After Tony Romo. Because, Go Cowboys.

Also, he has an unnatural affinity for pig's hooves which are like $1.18 a piece and last quite awhile.

Gone Home - PC (7.5 out of 10)

I played this game because IGN went bananabread crazy and gave it the PC game of the year and I think overall game of the year, but I'm not sure and I'm not checking again because that'll take all my bandwidth.

After I anti-aliased it and put the quality down to medium (then low) I was able to walk around and pick up things without losing my mind.

The overall atmosphere is pretty good. A rainy night in a purple world apparently, a college aged girl coming back home to find an empty house and a note on the door from her sister.

It would seem pretty open ended as though you can travel anywhere in the house you'd like but since doors are locked you are forced into making decisions (and nobody should be forced to do anything (especially that).).

Since the story is the whole reason for playing the game I won't get into it. There is the main story then the rest of the family's troubles and trials and tribulations all come to the surface as you rummage through the house and apparently through the note-writingest family in history.

It's set in 1995 and the thing I liked most about the gameplay is that in about 5 or 6 rooms you can pop on a cassette tape and put it into the player and listen to some pretty badass girl punk music: Heavens to Betsy, Bratmobile and some others.

You find keys and unlock doors and you find combinations and unlock locked things. Nothing ever pops out at you and nobody dies but it's still a good game. And the story is told through notes, field reports, calendars, and the voice over of Sam (your older sister in the game, obviously. Unless your sister's name is Sam. Then I don't know.)

I beat it start to finish (and I'm a gamer who checks all the nooks and crannies) in about a flat 2 hours.

Well worth the play. I wouldn't say the game was innovative in any way. Bioshock started the whole finding tapes and catching up on the story sort of thing (which was awesome, play Bioshock if you haven't, the first one. Infinite was alright.)

The game did manage to dredge up some feelings inside my carapace that I didn't plan on dredging up. So, if you're looking for a good dredge, this is your game. Plus it's only 2 hours.

As far as how it got to be the game of the year over at IGN, I don't know. My guess is the head picker had some similar 90's punk relationship and it really spoke to him/her. I imagine the conversation was something like:

Head Picker: I'm picking Gone Home for game of the year.

2nd in command Picker: Oh. Yea it was a good game and all but there isn't really any replay value and it wasn't especially innovative.

Head Picker: I'm the picker and you don't know true love like I know it. I am Sam and Lonnie and they are me and it's Gone Home. Give it all the awards.

2nd in command Picker: All the PC awards?

Head Picker: And all the xbox and nintendo and atari. It wins games. *wipes tears* I have to write several letters chronicling my failed relationships and include several short stories I wrote in the ninth grade for reasons I'm not sure of yet.

The End.

P.S. There is also an erotic letter that Sam's sister doesn't want to read all of. So, when you sense that something erotic is in front of your eyes read really fast and let me know. I've heard how that sort of thing happens but I have no scientific proof. Yet.