Owning a Fucking Beagle/Labrador (6 out of 10)

This is what they look like. Mine is all brown with a little white stripe going up his nose. (If you see him let him know that he has a family at home that loves him and doesn't blame him for the divorce.)

I've heard from multiple sources and can confirm myself that all they do is chew shit all day and night. Plus, these things have a nose like a great white shark and can smell food before you even bring it home from the store. Or think about making a grocery list.

This one pisses in the bedroom like he owns the place and has eaten more pairs of knock off shoes than a great white shark ever would.

They also have tails like a slavedriver's whip (I reference slave drivers on those old viking ships that had all white prisoners) and knock over children and trashcans like it's their job.

They are also crafty devils that know how to slip leashes and know that if they hide in the back corner under the bed where I can't reach him long enough my fury will eventually subside. (The Eagles don't make new albums every day!)

However, they are very loving and cuddly and are good with kids. In our house the rule is if he bites you, you bite him back. He plays rough with me and leaves marks but is careful with the kids. Though if they are rough housing he wants to play too and comes in like Wolverine when some asshat bear gets killed.

He is learning and he eats everything so there isn't ever a worry about saving food for the kids in Africa.

His name is Romo. After Tony Romo. Because, Go Cowboys.

Also, he has an unnatural affinity for pig's hooves which are like $1.18 a piece and last quite awhile.